Cell Phones & Fishing

June, 2003

How could this be avoided? A. Don't bring a cell phone. B. Turn your cell phone off. C. Do not come... stay at work. D. There is no short on chum. How to handle cell phone problems: A. Pepper spray. B. Extra bouy marker. C. Be rude, embarass victim then throw off boat. (Make sure no one is looking.) D. Get creative. You can do it. E. All of the above.   You've worked all year. It's been a long winter and you've got a two week vacation. Thoughts of a day of fishing away from all the turds and psychos for a day. The wife has loosened the chain and the kids aren't sick or in jail for the day. Oh blessed day... your day! Put on those old jeans and that shirt you don't give a hoot about. So you get to your favorite party boat... not on a cramped Sunday, but on a Monday. You settle in on the boat... and as it pulls out, you hear a sound... a sound so special... some jerk's cell phone. "Hey Bob, guess where I am..." Bob could give a flying flap jack where you are Dude... you're calling Bob at work. He has his meaningless conversation about peanut butter sandwiches and hangs up. You are beginning to twitch. Calm down you say to yourself. He's not going to make another call, he's fishing... he has spent his hard earned cash to fish. The boat stops, the bell is rung and everyone drops their lines. Then there's that darned sound again. That so special jerk is going to answer. Does he go into the cabin away from everyone...NO... he puts his rod down and starts talking real loud. The guy on the other end ears must be bleeding. He paces back and forth giving out so much important information. This call takes priority over every single person on that boat. He has to prove to everyone how gosh darned special he is. How important he is. That he can ruin everyone's day. Your losing it now. Trembling uncontrollably, violent, horrible acts run through your head. If only he'd stop. Your anger management classes aren't working. You try not to turn around and look at him. Another fish and another fish dropped. The jack ass is still talking but now he's repeating himself. You even know everything about this business deal dang it the whole boat does. You grab the fishing knife and... the phone no longer rings. Oh silence, blessed silence!

 

 

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